January 9, 2007

Basement dweller

I have lived in one basement suite or another for over a decade now. Here are some standard issue circumstances of the basement dweller ...

~ The people living upstairs are elephants, no matter how light-footed they believe themselves to be.

~ Unless you control your own heat, you will freeze. I've been known to sport sweaters in the height of summer after a descent into the subterranean icebox. Heat rises people.

~ The fridge is most likely several decades old, boasting a freezer (which doesn't actually keep your food frozen) that either grows into an impenetrable mountain of ice, or else drips all over your pickles and mayo.

~ The bathroom is built for Bilbo and Frodo.

~ Stove? What stove?

All this being said, it's not as if I have made much of an effort to change my situation. In fact, I am currently looking for a new place to live and will undoubtedly move into my fourth basement suite. Perhaps I have an affinity for caves. Or maybe it's an aversion to paying an exorbitant amount of money for a bit of walled-in space that floats above the ground. I want to be close to the earth, even if it means I need to walk around with blankets about my shoulders and take an ice pick to the freezer to make room for the frozen fruit.

On the continued search for a place to call home, I'm happy to continue living beneath someone else's.


  1. k...that was awesome.

  2. Aye, but the rent was RETARDEDLY cheap...so what's a few wood bugs every now and then???